The following story was related to me by a paramedic friend of mine. While ambulance crews are waiting to be dispatched to a call they usually park in a central location such as a shopping mall or public park. A medic and EMT were waiting near such a park in their ambulance on a nice day with their windows down. There was some sort of event going on; and they paid it no mind until one of the participants — a very haggard gentleman holding a shoebox accosted them.
“Is this a crab?” he slurred, opening the shoebox.
At this point when I was told the story I thought that he meant a crab — the kind you find at the beach. No, he meant the other kind.
The medic — leaning across his partner regarded the specimen through the passenger window.
“Yep” replied the medic. “That’s a crab. Yer gonna need 3 things:”
“ 1. a razor
2. a lighter
3. an icepick.”
“take the razor” instructed the medic “and shave off half your pubes. Then light the other half on fire with the lighter, and stab the crabs with the icepick as they run to the other side.”
The man gave them a puzzled look, unsure of how to respond.
The medic rolled the window up and drove away to extricate himself and his partner, whose ability to contain laughter was quickly waning. As he drove away he said to the EMT “There are some real weirdos out there”
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